How to talk about eating disorders: 5 helpful tips

Eating disorders affect people of all genders, ages, races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights — with an estimated 28.8 million Americans (9% of the US population) experiencing an eating disorder in their lifetime.

Do you know someone with an eating disorder or suspect that someone you know may be struggling? Maybe you notice them skipping meals, exercising obsessively or perhaps binge eating (have bags of chips and boxes of cookies mysteriously gone missing?). Do you want to help but just don’t know what to do or say?

It's important to speak up, but it can be a sensitive subject for both you and your loved one. However, according to the National Eating Disorders Association, many people suffering from an eating disorder say the support of family and friends was crucial to their recovery.

Here are five ways you can help:

1. Read up
   Do some research on eating disorders so you can have an informed and empathetic conversation. Understand that eating disorders stem from a variety of genetic, biological, psychological, and social factors. Instilling feelings of guilt or nagging is never helpful. By arming yourself with knowledge and skills, you can better support someone in their recovery.
2. Use "I" statements
   The way you voice your concerns can make all the difference. Remember "You" statements can sound like negative accusations. For example, instead of "You never eat," try "I've noticed that you barely touch your dinner anymore, and that worries me."
3. Avoid simple solutions
   It can be tempting to offer quick-fix solutions like "why can’t you just eat?" or "just stop overeating." But, eating disorders are complex conditions that require more than simple solutions. No one chooses to have an eating disorder. Individuals must develop the tools to cope, generally with professional support, before expecting those behaviors to disappear.
4. Be mindful of triggering topics
   In general, avoid conversation about food choices, body size, weight, etc. We’re often conditioned to share discontent over our own body image. Do your best to avoid this kind of talk with your loved one, and instead focus discussion on things that have nothing to do with outward appearances.
5. Encourage professional help
   Remind your loved one that mental health struggles are common, but there are many reasons to get help. Offer to help find a physician, therapist, or nutritionist, and to attend sessions with them when appropriate. If your loved one is ready, you can help them find the support and resources they need.

Remember to take care of your own needs as well. Supporting a close friend or family member who is struggling can take a toll on your own mental health. Be sure to reach out for support if you need it. Being a positive role model for self-care is another way you can demonstrate your support.

Sources:
“Statistics,” National Eating Disorders Association (NEDA) (https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/statistics/)
“How to Help a Loved one,” NEDA (https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/learn/help/caregivers)
“How to Support Someone with an Eating Disorder,” WebMD (webmd.com), September 9, 2021